You know. I dated a great Christian guy once, however, we had very different love languages. I cherished letters and that was just not the way he expressed his love to me, so I would get so frustrated. I would so desire a letter, but one would never come. After a year and a half of serious dating, we broke up. Through that break up, the Lord taught me so much about His name of comforter, teacher, and especially lover. I remember reading in His word one morning while I was home on for Spring Break. I asked the Lord to speak sweetly, very sweetly, and He absolutely did. I have never experienced God so intimately as I did that week on Spring Break. I know this may sound a little weird to some, but I literally asked the Lord to run with me, to sit in the passenger seat and sing with me in the car, to cuddle with me at night when I was lonely, and to whisper the greatness of His love for me into my ear as I sat reading His word. The Bible was not even a book anymore. I remember looking up from what I was reading in the Word, and I had forgotten for a minute that I was physically reading the words. I felt as though God was sitting next to me with His hand on the small of my back, rubbing it ever so gently, and He was the one who was reading His word to me...just like sweet nothings in my ear! Agh. No other religion can experience this kind of intimacy that a relationship with Christ brings because Christ is ALIVE. His word is alive: it moves, it breaths, and that week while I was home for Spring Break finding love and healing from the Father, I realized that on a very personal level.
The Lord brought me to a place of a broken heart to realize that I NEVER need a man to write me a love letter ever again because the most beautiful love letter has already been written. It was written first with blood on the cross, and that story was breathed into words of the Bible that I can hold in my hands. Right now, I guess you could say that I am in a sort of long-distance relationship. One day, I will be in heaven sitting at the feet of Jesus and finally we will meet face to face. But for now, He has written me this magnificent, undeniable love letter called the Bible. In it, He does not desire for me to get anything out of it except knowing Him. Isn't that what a relationship is all about? You do not have a best friend because they always do things for you, you have a best friend because you love who they are. It is not about what they have done for you, or what they will do for you, but the depths of their heart that you love. They have that kind of emotion towards you as well. They love you because of who you are. That love is the reason, and the only reason, that they, or you, are compelled to do anything. Oh, how we have so twisted the meaning of this religion Christianity into something that gives to US when it is really about the compelling actions of LOVE exemplified in the very life of the one Jesus Christ who's life we strive to emmulate.
I guess something that I have been trying to ask myself is this: Would I be okay with not seeing the fruit of my life here on earth? Okay, that sounds alot more powerful in my head so let me explain. I have a very close friend who is not saved. I have been praying for her for literally YEARS. Would I be okay with not seeing her come to salvation in my lifetime, but letting someone else lead her to the Lord? Wow. I love being productive. I love seeing the fruit of my work. But that is NOT the Christian life completely. When I get to heaven and I do sit at His feet, I want to be able to look up into Jesus' face and say, 'Savior, I KNOW you because of the love letter you wrote me and because of who you are, I love you.' Our relationship with Christ here on earth should be as it will be in heaven. We cannot wait around to meet Him face to face, we have to love Him here, and because we love Him here, we WILL be with Him in heaven. This truth is wonderful.
In John 15:5, the Word of GOD says "I am the vine, you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in Him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing!" Wow. We are just the vessels used by God to produce fruit. The ONLY thing that we asked to do is to remain in Him. This means knowing Him, loving Him, obeying Him because of that love, and then serving Him. We sometimes can get soo caught up in doing things for the Lord and seeing things done in our lives 'for His glory' that we forget that it is all about Him. It is all about relationships and knowing and loving Him. God sent His son to die on the cross for me so that I could have a real, living relationship with Him that changes my life so that I can have a relationship with someone here on this earth to tell them about the relationship that I have with Jesus who changed my life so that THEY can have a relationship with Him too so that their life may be radically changed. Wow. It is all about relationships and people.
Our God is a God of generations. The prophets in the Old Testament did not see the fruit of what they prophesied. However, they trusted that God was faithful and that He would do as He would with whomever He pleased. If this life really is not about us, then we will humble ourselves to the fact that we are not the ONLY one who God can use. No plan of His can be thwarted and that plan may involve us just planting a seed and letting it be watered after we die and come to fruition many generations from now. We cannot hold onto the fruit that we want to see produced through us in this life, we must hold onto Jesus Christ and who He is and let Hims do what He will.
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